


a dog by any other name

by fonulyn



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, That's it, a lil crack-y, and disagree on the dog's name, and have some well-deserved downtime, that's the fic, they adopt a dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/pseuds/fonulyn
Summary: They stop at the door and Nile hoists her bag higher up her shoulder. Before either one of them has the chance to ring the doorbell a voice catches their attention. It’s Joe, and he’s clearly exasperated. “Please, Nicolò,” he pleads, and Nile can imagine the expression going with it. Until he goes on. “Could youstopchewing on my shoes!?”.Or the one wherein they end up owning a dog.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 40
Kudos: 386





	a dog by any other name

**Author's Note:**

> so my first foray into this fandom was supposed to be a 15k mutual-pining get-together, but then I got an ask on tumblr and instead you get... this :'D whatever this is lmao.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Nile is tired. All she has been thinking about for the last three hours of their drive is getting to settle in an actual bed and sleep for at least twelve hours straight. There’s a tinge of excitement about the reunion, too, as they haven’t seen Nicky and Joe for almost a month and she’s not used enough to immortality yet to feel it as short a time as the others do. 

She glances at Andy, unable to hide the worry in her eyes, but for once Andy graciously pretends she doesn’t notice. She’d taken a nasty hit on the ribs during the job, and although it wasn’t fatal, Nile knew enough of injuries like that to know how painful it could be. At least now they’ll both get to rest, as there shouldn’t be anything special scheduled for the next few days.

They walk the winding path through the overgrown garden and into the small house that looks like it’s from a fairytale. Nile thinks it’s something her mother would’ve loved, and there’s a pang of homesickness that she tries to swallow down. She’s too tired for it now, all the feelings tend to multiply with exhaustion and she’s not willing to deal with them today.

They stop at the door and Nile hoists her bag higher up her shoulder. Before either one of them has the chance to ring the doorbell a voice catches their attention. It’s Joe, and he’s clearly exasperated. “ _Please_ , Nicolò,” he pleads, and Nile can imagine the expression going with it. Until he goes on. “Could you _stop_ chewing on my shoes!?”

Nile turns to Andy, who looks back at her with an equal amount of bewilderment. The question is already on the tip of Nile’s tongue, but she doesn’t manage to voice it before Joe goes on, this time in a louder voice. “I took you in, I promised to love you forever, and you pay me back by destroying everything I own!?”

With a sigh, Andy reaches out and practically punches the doorbell. At the clear sound of it there’s a loud bark, followed by what sounds like someone scratching at the door. The door that flies open the next second, releasing a honest-to-god whirlwind on them. The little dog runs around in circles, yipping and howling, trying to lick at their ankles as it welcomes them into the pack. 

The glare Andy gives Joe is stern, but at the same time she crouches down and offers the puppy her hand to smell, and absent-mindedly reaches to scratch behind the large ears. “I leave you two alone for three weeks and you get a puppy?” she asks, unimpressed.

A lesser man would shrivel under that stare, but Joe merely shrugs, gesturing towards the dog. “How could I not, boss? Look at him!” he says it as if it explains everything, and in a way it does. The dog obviously already loves Andy, and is setting sights on Nile next, determined to make two new best friends today.

Something about the complaints they’d overheard still bothers Nile, though, and she arches an eyebrow at Joe. “And you named the dog after Nicky?”

Insistently, Joe gestures towards the dog. “ _Look at him_ ,” he repeats, putting emphasis on every single word.

The dog is sitting on the floor next to Andy’s foot, wagging his tail happily, staring up at them from huge eyes. He looks like he’s smiling at them, like he’s ready to do just about anything to make them happy. There is something so earnest about the way he’s looking up at them and…

Begrudgingly Andy sighs. 

Nile nods sagely. “Okay, yeah, I can see that.”

Blissfully unaware of what’s been going on, Nicky takes that moment to step in and scoop the dog under his arm. He straightens, that small smile of his tugging at his lips, and Andy sighs again. Immediately Nicky’s expression morphs into one of confusion, and he glances around waiting for someone to catch him up.

“Don’t worry about it,” Joe says as he leans in, presses a kiss onto Nicky’s temple and then on the dog’s forehead. 

Nicky looks increasingly confused.

*

For the rest of the day Andy pretends that she isn’t entirely smitten by Nicolò-the-dog, but keeps handing him scraps from the table and petting him whenever no one notices, and Nile could swear she sees Andy smile dopily at the dog more than once. She honestly hadn’t expected it to be a puppy that would bring that side out in Andy, but hell, she’ll take it.

After dinner they all lounge in the small living room. Andy claims the couch at first, but Nile manages to squeeze herself in the other end, as long as she allows Andy to use her as a footrest. Nicky’s curled up in the armchair with a book. 

There’s a loud sigh from the kitchen, drawing Nile’s attention. “Nicolò, my _heart_ ,” Joe complains, clearly equal parts fond and exasperated, “why did you have to pee on the floor?”

Before she can help it, Nile snorts. “I will never get used to that,” she admits, shaking her head as she looks at the others, not even trying to hold back the grin. “The mental images I just got from that? I wish I could draw.”

“Tell me about it,” Andy snorts, mirroring Nile’s expression.

From the armchair, Nicky sighs. “And you think _you_ have it bad?” he grumbles. “I woke up thinking he’s telling _me_ to fetch his slippers.” He glances up, arching one eyebrow. “I wanted to name the dog Lucky.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Nile asks, her smile softening as the dog takes that moment to bounce into the living room and launch himself straight towards the couch. Easily, Andy catches him, lifting him to sit on her thighs. 

“I was weak,” Nicky says mournfully, “I let myself be persuaded.”

“As I recall,” Joe cuts in, grinning as he approaches, hands in his pockets. “You quite enjoyed being persuaded.” One glance at his expression speaks volumes of what he means, but he decides to still underline the statement by giving an admittedly ridiculous eyebrow waggle. It’s solely meant to make them laugh, and as far as Nile and Andy are concerned it works.

Nicky though, he only groans. “Might I remind you that the dog peed in your shoe while you were busy with your persuasion?”

“Well,” Joe shrugs, “some sacrifices must be made.”

*

Three days later they’re all sitting in the kitchen, having pancakes. Joe started the batch, and halfway through Nicky took over, so he’s now flipping the last of the pancakes, his back turned to them. So he doesn’t notice when Andy grabs the dog from the floor and lifts him up to eye-level, getting a whole bunch of enthusiastic doggy-kisses.

Joe seems briefly jealous, reaching out for the dog next, and as Andy relinquishes her hold of him, Joe brings the dog up to his own face. “Oh Nicolò,” he coos, his voice soft, “would you make my morning and give me a kiss?” 

Obviously it isn’t clear enough who he is talking to, as Nicky turns around, mouth open to reply already, before the situation computes in his brain and makes him frown. It’s not that he doesn’t like the dog, he does, but this is getting _way too fucking confusing_.

“That’s it,” Nicky says definitively. He has obviously made a decision. “You are renaming the dog.”

Joe sputters out a protest. “But he likes his name!” Apparently Nicolò-the-dog agrees, as he finally gives Joe that coveted kiss, licking a wide stripe up his chin and his nose. 

The only reaction from Nicky is a mellow shrug as he plates the rest of the pancakes. “Have fun on the couch for the next decade, then.”

Theatrically Joe grasps at his chest, pulling off the horrified look pretty damn well. “You could _never_.”

*

Joe sleeps on the couch. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that despite the treats he tries to tempt Nicolò-the-dog with, the dog chooses Nicky. Nile doesn’t think he’s ever seen Nicky look as smug as he does when he only has to pat the mattress next to himself and the dog is right there, in a flash.

Even then, Nicky’s resolve lasts for two nights. Nile thinks it’s kind of impressive. She expected way less.

In the end, the dog gets to keep his name.

*

Originally Andy only planned for a week of downtime, always restless and eager to keep moving. It’s like she doesn’t know how to flip the switch off and only _exist_ , even though technically she’s had thousands of years to practice the art of staying idle. She detailed more than one possible plan during their drive, but somehow by the time the week is up she seems to have forgotten them all.

Instead she spends her days taking long naps in the garden, Nicolò-the-dog resting on her chest or tucked neatly against her side, having chosen her as his new favorite. 

It takes Nile almost two weeks to realize the smug looks both Joe and Nicky cast at the scene.

Apparently they knew all along what they were doing, those clever bastards. Nile can’t help but be impressed.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm also [on tumblr](https://fonulyn.tumblr.com/post/626723737389170688/a-dog-by-any-other-name-joenicky-gen-the) if that's your thing! i'd love to make friends :)


End file.
